Tasteful Distractions
by Lady-von-Strife
Summary: YukiXSana. SPOV. My eyes will never see what she beholds and yet her ailment is what brought us together. Is this a blessing or a curse? Will my pointless route towards emptiness take a turn? Will I ever feel loved and return such gift? I have to say bye.
1. Introduction

_Disclaimer: I do not own PoT and their characters. The songs Blind by life house and Stolen by Dashboard Confessionals were only included to match the whole plot of the story._

_**AN: This is A Yuki-Sana tandem. The ratings might go up and the gender setting might change depending on the readers' reactions. Thanks and hope minna-san will RnR :D**_

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'**Tasteful Distractions'**

_It is the mind, which creates the world about us, and even though we stand side by side in the same meadow, my eyes will never see what yours behold, my heart will never stir to the emotions, which yours touched._

-George Gissing on Perception

Introduction:

**5TH of March**

_The hospital walls were no longer strangers to me. As a regular volunteer, I expected myself to soon see this place as my second home. I didn't mind after all, a few bloodstains here and there and grotesque missing body parts weren't much of a scare to me anymore. After all, for the past years, I've already witnessed much worse at first hand. At 8, I was given a front row ticket for the advance screening of a dying soldier with multiple bayonet punctures. You name it. Having been already a trained Medic at 13, I was exposed to that kind of world. Despite my unfortunate childhood, I was grateful… Well in some ways I guess. I was free, free to maneuver my own life towards a different direction. Most importantly, a life different from my Father's. He was a soldier and my mother a nurse. Perfect fit, don't you think? I didn't think so, but our family is far from average right? So I guess that seemed pretty normal for others._

_My parents… they give a whole new meaning to love at first strike… _

_Oh did I say strike? I guess I should really use the more common term, sight. They met when my Father was just a Cadet, it was his first ever shot-wound and to cut things short for the whole sappy enchilada, nurse meets bloody soldier, bloody soldier is grateful to the nurse and BAM! I entered the world. And as soon as I was able to walk on my own feet, their centre looped back to their reality. Which were of course the patients and the civilians._

_ I thought that I had the advantage since I was both patient and civilian but… I was wrong... My mother purposely brought me to the hospital with her everyday in order for me to get used to the kind of life she lived. I was okay with that since it was either the nursery room or the campsite. Then again what choice did I have? But it was fine, since income kept piling in. _

_So far so good right? Little that I know that my little 'luxury', the toys and books that they provided me for company when they worked was already a sign that, every moment I spent alone, drifting my mind and succoring to the worldly pleasures set before was going to be my **LIFE** from then on… Until of course I reached age 13 where my medical training would soon commence and at 15 when we'd return to Japan, just maybe…things would change…_

_Pretty much of what was then, was now. And I was already at my tipping point. As the years passed, I finally wanted to take a detour. My freedom was too much and yet I hand t the courage to use it._

_My freedom was the shade of my emptiness…_

'_**I was young but I wasn't naïve,**_

_**I was helpless,**_

_**As you turned around to leave,**_

_**But still I have a pain I have to carry.**_

_**A past so deep,**_

_**That even then we could not burry if we tried.'**_


	2. Recent Stranger

**Chapter 1: Recent Stranger**

_I am now of age, just new meat to the adult world. My father, now retired and my mother… May she rest in peace…__Modern Japan was nothing much to me. Yes, I enjoyed every vicinity and leisure that the Tokyo streets offered as any normal teen would but not to the extent as others. I preferred to place myself in solitude. Heck, I'd care less if I were just to sit still and think. I'd often times just do my responsibilities as a volunteer; my spin-off from being a medic. But what really DID prefer was to keep myself busy. Mainly that's the reason that I joined in the volunteering brigade. But the praise that even I expected form elders was completely replaced by utter mockery and spite. They'd whisper about using it as a diversion from filling my thoughts with my Mother's successful attempt to 'end it by her own hands' and my very distorted childhood. TRAUMA. But what was I to be in trauma for really? But still, I gave in to the worst temptation ever to suffice. For as long as I lived, I searched for distractions. With my work, I thought, that making others feel good, I could feed from their joy. Golden rule right? It wasn't half-bad after all, anything to devour my time. Not putting to consideration the __**"il bel far niente'**__ meaning the 'beauty of doing nothing'. I saw no beauty in that at all. _

_**Ding! **_

_**Third floor, Cardio wing.**_

_So, I bet you wanna ask me, 'Sanada, what do guys like YOU do? Anything normal? Soirees? Sports? Hang out with friends? The whole enchilada?'_

_My answers are; barely, yes, no close friends and 'nuff said. So, what do I do besides the whole volunteer 'act' (Obviously) I do part time jobs, unfortunately the money earned during my ghost-parent phase disintegrated cause of the very reason I spend my time here in the hospital, with my Father._

_Everything seemed routine to me… I saw nothing new. My life was nothing much… No excitement, no downfall. I've been seeking alteration but it's not that simple. It was all bleak._

"Come in!"

_I knocked and when I finally heard the nurse's go signal, I entered the room and sat at the usual lavender sofa the hotel provided. The nurse had just given my father his medication and so I took the chance to have a word with him. Most of them were complaints. _

_Ahh… _

_Time for another session with dear old Papa._

_Sometimes I say to myself, Why even bother? He won't even understand the words that I spat out or the saddest truth that he didn't know who he was talking to. I couldn't care less about the Doctor's explanations about his condition._

"_It's normal for his age."_

_No. I didn't accept. You call daily amnesia normal? Give me a break. I am used to seeing ailing people but never the living dead. Excuse me for my terms but that's how I felt. However the circumstances, my Father was my favorite apparition. It's so poignant to think that I finally have the opportunity to have at least time with a parent and yet… THIS. I didn't know much about my Father, the only common that I was sure about was the fact that we see each other but never saw through each other. Every single day._

_My father often times just greets me, "Hello soldier. Thank you for visiting me." And then he'd just smile in response to my blabber and then eventually he'd end up leaving me in mid-air until his eyelids would close and go to his slumber. I actually preferred the kind of tandem we had after all I wasn't fond of the whole scolding thing, I was afraid that I'd miraculously awaken GI JO. When he was finally asleep, I whispered a message to him… _

"_Otanjubi Omedettou Oyaji"_

_Every single time I face him, I repeat to myself the words of Sholem Asch, 'Not the power to remember, but its very opposite, the power to forget, is a necessary condition for our existence…'_

_2 hours later, I left his room to stretch my legs. I was off duty today but I had an itch to check things out. I HAD to do something anyways. I passed by each wing, surprised at the fact that no one got suspicious of a guy wearing church-clothes lingering on the hospital grounds and etched on his face was an image of a man in discontent. I actually challenged myself to see how many people would ask me if I was part of some kind of mock-band. Just my luck, the count was Zero. _

_Each time I passed by a patient I couldn't help but feel either guilty of ashamed for looking so casual and not giving the least bit sign of pity. I was so used to it. How macho huh? Soon enough, my mind fled and about half an hour later I mindlessly arrived at the depths of the surgery wing, at the doorstep of room 313._


	3. To see

**Chapter 2: To see**

_I saw that the doctor in charge was the same resident appointed to my Father. _

"Must be rich."

I mocked, ridding myself of the awful truth. I didn't know why but I had a vibe that wanted me to know who the patient was and specifically what he was in for. Kinda sounds like I was curious about some prisoner rather than a patient. All hail the Tactless Sanada. I thought of making a lame excuse that I was a volunteer, nice. So I thought I'd give it a shot.

_**Knock knock!**_

"Fine."

_I quickly gave up and turned to the other room but a little voice interrupted my plan._

"No one's there anymore."

_I looked down and saw a 13-year-old boy with green eyes and deep blue-green hair. He possessed at the very moment a bouquet tied neatly up in a simple blue ribbon._

I still put on a blank face, "Oh… I see… Thanks for the info." I replied gloomily.

The boy indifferently smiled at me, "S-sure."

_To satisfy his look I gave him a quick reply "Is there something wrong?"_

He looked down.

"Well…" he cleared his throat. "I was just wondering what brings you to this part of wing, unless of course you have a relative here or something…"

I crossed by brows, "What do you mean?"

"Well…" he sighed. "This part is actually forgotten… Well at least that's how I look at it."

"Huh" I said in disbelief. "Doesn't look like it though." I said pointing to the bustling hospital crew.

"It's only the counter part." He shook his head and altered his voice.

"And you." I made a half-smile and knelt at his level to try and make the mood lighter.

He was startled "Oh, I was just visiting a close friend, See?" He held out the roses.

"That's nice of you kid." I grinned and patted his head once.

He smiled back, "Thanks."

"Now that's a reason more to say that this place isn't forgotten." I pointed out.

He chuckled and then I started to wave goodbye and walk away.

"Will you come with me then?" He invited, his voice echoed in the hallway.

_I took a second look and just stared at him. Was he actually buying my on duty charade? Hesitant, I still obliged._

"You sure?" I asked.

His face lit up "Yes of course! Here!" he took only a few steps back from room 314 to 315.

"Well that was fast," I teased, following him.

I was about to knock when he told me that it wasn't necessary, so I just slid the door open.

"I'm back! I've got something for you nee-san!"

_Nee-san? Sister ei? But it's not what you think; I'm not the type who hits on girls that fast. Sorry to disappoint._

_The boy happily danced his way towards his friend. I finally stepped inside and closed the door. My eyes began to move._

"Really? What is it?" a serene voice of a girl replied.

_Forgotten…_

_That was the term the boy used to describe it… I was beginning to understand why._

_The very room I was in was divided into 2 by white sheets for some reason. The windows were slightly opened and so was the balcony, exposing the silhouette of the boy and his friend._

_Why? I thought. Was she like me? Trying to separate myself from the world?_

I noticed as well that the room wasn't much. It wasn't fancy. It was just filled with piles of books, but that wasn't what caught my attention.

"Must be a reader." I quickly judged.

_But the dried stems, leaves and petals sticking out on each book that was piled that left me to think._

_Forgotten huh? Same ribbon… I guessed that the boy was her only friend, the only visitor. Knowing my usual used to attitude it only took me about a minute to go back to my normal state._

"Wait here, I'll put them on the vase" the boy ran back pass towards my direction and let the flowers sit on a glass vase half-filled with water.

_I took a step forward._

"Dan, thank you for the flowers, but wont you introduce me to your friend?"

The musical voice spoke yet again.


	4. Unfinished Sentence

**Chapter 3: Unfinished sentence**

The outline of the girl faced my direction. She still stood near the balcony window.

_Dan the name of the boy I just met turned to me in embarrassment._

"Sorry! I was just too excited."

I smiled at him and he understood what I meant.

"His name's Sanada. He's a volunteer." He replied.

Wasn't quite the introduction I imagined. We were still beyond formal reach.

"Hello Sanada." The friendly voice replied.

I took a step forward to see if I could approach but stopped at the sight of Dan making an awkward face. "Sorry to barge in." I just said.

The friendly shadow giggled.

"No, thank you actually. Would you like to come closer?" the shadow gestured a hand reaching for me reflected in the sheets. I turned to Dan.

"You sure?" he asked her.

"Yes." She said sharply.

_I was reluctant at first to see what was hidden behind the curtain. But then again, I already saw a whole lotta worse case scenarios before so, shoot! Not that I thought this was going to be one of them but… you know me…_

_We walked towards the balcony and under the sheet divider and when we finally reached the embodiment of the serene voice, the sun stung my eyes before I could get a clear glimpse, my eyes directed down and saw a pair of very pale feet tucked in hospital slippers, my eyes slowly went up the white gown and soon enough I managed to put down my elbow shielding me from the sun's rays._

The blurry image moved. "My name is Yuki."

Indeed the voice that called out for us was this very being in front of me. The ghost-like complexion fooled my eyes a bit but that wasn't what actually bothered me. What did was what I saw halfway through her face…from the forehead down to the eyelevel. Everything was covered up. Like an unfinished mummy, all that as left to be seen is the crimson lips and royal blue hair that lazed down her shoulders.

"Oh…" I murmured idiotically which made Dan wince.

"Sorry… I meant."

She laughed, "Don't worry 'bout it."

"Is this really ok?" Dan whispered to Yuki.

She nodded.

" 'Kay" he replied and took a seat at the balcony swing.

"Would you like to sit too?" She asked.

"How… I mean, sure. Want some help?" I offered.

She sensed my curiosity, "Heightened Senses." She pointed to her ear. "As they say, lose one and strengthen the other or so… and help is very much appreciated."

_I quickly took her arm and aided her to the bedside and took a seat the stool._

_Dan stayed awfully quiet out in the balcony and from time to time glanced worriedly in our direction and trying to over hear our conversation._

"So, what brings you to _Le Chateau_ Yuki?" she joked.

Amazing with her condition, she still remains up beat.

"As Dan said, I'm a volunteer…" I twisted my lip and turned away.

"So I've heard." She grinned. "Anything else?"

That one took me by surprise. Is it possible for the blind to read minds as well?

I sighed.

"You don't have to answer that one, besides my real question is, what brings you to this hospital?"

For some reason I was drawn to her. "My father…"

"Oh…"

A perfect mimic of my expression.

"He'll be fine." She assured me.

I stood up and picked up a book. Still not understanding a blind girls' need of them. Maybe Dan read to her. I don't know… I returned the book and sat beside her.

After a long silence…

"I doubt it, but…" I paused. "Thanks for the concern." I replied half-heartedly.

"Hmm… I have a feeling that this isn't your first time?"

"Yes." I answered without lament.

"Aren't you afraid?"

"No."

"Are you used to it?"

"Pretty much."

"Then you've witnessed it already."

That one I answered steadily, "Yes."


	5. Black Irony

**Chapter 4: Black Irony**

"Do explain."

_Surprisingly, I did… In one tea setting, I let everything out. It felt both good and bad, but I didn't regret it. After all, it order to start 'finding' myself, I couldn't possibly pull of an 'Elizabeth Gilbert' meaning, traveling to Italy for pleasure, devotion in India and balance in Indonesia._

"Wow." She breathed hard. "You've been through a lot…" She said sincerely.

"I've seen a lot too…"

_She was silent._

I felt stupid, "Oh sorry, word vomit. I didn't mean to offend you or anything."

"It's okay." She gave me a crooked smile.

I looked down to answer. "And you?"

"Well I definitely haven't seen much." She laughed. "What about me?"

"Same questions."

"Hm… Well, this…" She referred to her condition. "… is my first ever and hopefully the last."

It was clear that she was deprived from sight since she was a child.

"I am not afraid and I'm used to it."

"Huh…" I just said and turned to her, of course she wouldn't see me. "Good for you."

"Hmm?"

"You don't-" I sighed. "Want so bee where I've been."

"Not really…" She clenched her fists.

"Even if for just one day and it would cost me pain. I'd give anything to see once more…

_Once more?_

"You're lucky, but… even so… I'm content."

I quickly objected. "_You're_ lucky. The world is a cruel place you know."

"Without pain and sacrifice there wouldn't be any mercy." She pointed out.

"Hm… Even so, if you saw the things, the way I did or just saw them, and then you would _want _to stay blind." I insisted. "No offence."

"None taken." And once again her merry voice echoed through the walls.

_I joined her. _

_She stood up and directed herself towards the window and to my surprise she did it on her own._

"Maybe that's just the problem."

"What? My sight?"

_How would you know?_

"Yes. How would I know right?" She placed her hand in the window glass as if she were looking at something far away. "You know, there are people who _hear_ but never _listen_ and in your case, _look_ but never _see_."

_I was out of words. She looked at my direction. I imagined her to have a pair of serious looking eyes. I still sat stiff as a stone… She made me drift away in my thoughts…so deep…_

"Sanada…" Her smooth voice tingled my ears as she returned to sit next to me.

"Hm?" I turned to face her and suddenly she placed her pale hands on my cheeks and started to outline my face with her soft fingers. "You have a gentle face…"

"That's because you haven't seen it yet."

_There I go again, a stupid joke. By now someone should've stamped my forehead with "Loser."_

She giggled. "I may never will, but try to face the mirror and take a look at yourself and tell me what you see. I wouldn't believe you if you say that you don't like what you see. "I…" She paused for a bit and put her hands down on her lap. "All I see is sheer darkness. The pitch-black fog is how I view the world but even so I find serenity in it. My sight may have been taken away but I'm still here right? I'm grateful. Besides if you put all the colors of the rainbow together what do you get? See what I mean? Black isn't all that bad."

I didn't answer.

"Your perception of life is kind of unfair, Very one-sided. You speak of others as if they were just objectivity not necessity. It's not a process, its just not. Nothing is perfect but have you ever considered the endless possibilities of our fate?"

Her voice was serious. I never would have thought that this was our first meeting. Yuki, knew herself, she had it all going. She was the complete contrary of what I am. She saw herself despite her real inability to do so. Nice Sanada, welcome to the 'emo' society.

"I still don't get it… what your saying…" I admitted.

_Our 15__th__ time meeting now… Before I knew it I was intoxicated by her psychological charisma. How captivating. I wanted to change and someone to direct me and now they're being laid down in front me. At least I think so. _

_My father has gotten better but still same old routine. The recent stranger who never shuts his mouth still intrudes in his slumber. _

_Summer was almost over and Dan I became as thick as thieves and since he had summer school, he counted on me to replace his absence on weekdays. _

"You know, maybe you're just thinking too much of the impossible."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Don't you believe in defying the odds?"

"No…"

I Lost hope in that years ago when I thought that coming in between my parents would bring us all together. I was wrong.

"See? That's just it. If only…"

"A miracle would happen?" I continued.

"Why not?" She played.

"Then if I witness one, id take back everything I'd said and completely revert my whole life and make you a patron." I teased.

"Done." She snapped.

"Huh?" My eyebrows met.

"We have a deal." She concluded.

_She wanted me to have no more excuses, to give meaning to the 'cycle' I had. To not waste every moment with my loved ones especially my father. She wanted me to be out of misery. She wanted me to BE and only then I could really taste freedom. Maybe she was right, I needed to discard my hunger and thirst for distractions… She wanted me to ride with the wind… but even with those over whelming thoughts, there was still a part of me that was still unconvinced._


	6. Unlike Yesterday

**_ Chapter 5: Unlike Yesterday_**

_I decided that just for today, I'd at least try and act more rational, you know like a real person who actually cared for Dan and Yuki. How harsh… Act… But maybe not acting but actually…being. I just wanted a day away from the 'divided' world of Yuki, I wanted to get rid of the white sheets right away and take her outside, I'd take Oyaji too if I could but, life isn't fair, he strongly believed in the 'don't go with strangers' order._

_Before I could get on with my plans, I had to go to the post office to check on the mysterious packages that's 'signed' by my dad. I, of course I denied ever knowing about any of them but since my father's former cadet-mates said that he ordered them, I couldn't do anything much. I pretty much gave up after they presented me with a brown envelope containing a cookbook with a page bookmarked. I saw a quotation that was highlighted with the headline _**People eat to live not live to eat **_and below it stated._

"Existence comes various types of food processing, some canned, some bare and some seasoned with preservatives which is only logical that it also draws out different types of flavors; sweet, spicy, bitter and so on."

_I never really understood why my Dad would order a cookbook and so I just asked them to continue doing what was ordered._

_Dan was free today and thank goodness for that cause I wouldn't know what to do without his help. I planned something simple enough for the 3 of us, a picnic in the hospital gardens. Too bad that she couldn't go far though. Anyways, I dropped by at Dan's school to pick him up and after wards we went to get the food that I ordered from one of the places I used to work for. Yuki wasn't picky with food but we tried our best to suit her taste. At first we thought that she'd like some pasta and pastries but since the hospital offered her too much already of that stuff we decided to go with our best choice yet… A sushi boat and other traditional Japanese cuisines. Why? Well it fit our budget AND we could get a bonus Raspberry Mocha cake too, which was very much to Dan's liking._

_The Tokyo hospital garden was very pleasing. It had fresh air, which was good for her and a very clean surrounding. It was so peaceful just like her. It didn't take us long to bring Yuki with us since she was very much familiar with the hospital grounds. She would've fooled anyone that she was normal but that was just it, she wasn't normal… She was extraordinary._

_By the time Yuki arrived with me, Dan had already set up our picnic. It was really nice… During our after noon stay there, I thought of no worries just plain me enjoying the moment. Yuki was very happy of our 'dishes' that she even helped herself with another piece of cake. I was glad. At least they're happy right?_

_But then again during those very same moments, my father laid in bed by him self, maybe even in pain… I hurt twice as much. Dan. Noticed my tension and with just a 3-second whisper to Yuki's ear, he gave me something to be busy with._

"Uhm… I'd like to show you guys something." He said which made Yuki smile.

"What is it?" I wondered.

"Well…" He rummaged through his bauble bag and zipped it back shut. When he turned around he presented us with a violin. "I'd like to… well you see, I wanna practice so if you don't mind…" he shied away.

"No, go ahead, we'd love to hear you play, right?"

"Yes." I agreed.

He started to play and the tune that we heard was a song familiar to both Yuki and I.

Yuki started to hum. I watched both her Dan daze away and soon enough I did too.

"**We'll watch the season pull up its own station…"** My lips started to move on its own.

"**We'll catch the last weekend of the last week." **She continued.

I was shocked that she sang with me, her serene voice mesmerized me once again. Dan tilted his head and signaled for me to dance with Yuki.

In great coincidence Yuki also conceded with Dan's proposal "Please Sanada? I never danced with anyone before and I have a feeling that you're a great dancer,"

I was really hesitant, she wasn't the only one with such first but what could I do right? I decided to play along.

It was almost sunset and Dan kept on playing the song so smoothly. I imagined our dance to be a scene where one us or in our case both of us will admit to having two left feet but to my greatest surprise, we did pretty good. She continued to hum. I watched the sun set…

"**Before the sun set season fades to gray…" **

I continued to sing this time to her. Her arms were laced around my neck, our faces inches from each other… The feeling that I had right then and there was really different… it was soothing…

When I finally stopped singing she said, "Go on, please…" I didn't do as she wished right away and Dan was almost done playing…

"**Our dreams assured and we'll all…will sleep well…"**

I faced the direction of my father's window… **"Sleep well…"**

I, unconsciously tightened my arms around her, we were still dancing.

"Sanada?" she was concerned.

I tried to change the mood but couldn't and eventually my voice became shaky **"You have... stolen…"**

Dan stopped playing the violin and turned to approach us. I gave Yuki one last hug and whispered the last line of the song in her ear, I doubt she heard it but…

"**My…heart…"**

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AN: The song featured in this chapter is entitled Stolen by DashBoard Confessionals


	7. Distractions

**_Chapter 6: Distractions_**

"You are impossible Sanada." She grinned.

_It was our 35__th__ meeting._

I snorted, "Isn't that what you want me to be?"

"That's a start" She continued to laugh.

I wonder if Yuki at times ever had to feel the way that I did. Is sorrow in her vocabulary even? It was then that I realized how bad of a volunteer I am let alone a person. Compared to her kindness, mine was the size of a mustard seed.

"Wow, I can't believe it, it wont be long until your college boy Sanada." She said, changing the subject.

"Well that makes one of us excited."

"You're not? Oh, why so?"

I paused for a moment, I opened my mouth to speak but clamped them back shut.

"Just another routine?"

I didn't bother to answer that one.

"You know, that won't help at all… Dan tells me how promising you are. How you became Sanada the Loner to Sanada the Loyal. He really looks up to you as a great big brother. If you've noticed, he's doing great at school and he's been a lot more cheerful than before."

"I think he made a mistake."

"I don't."

"I'm not…"

"Didn't you know." She interrupted, "That Dan lives alone?"

My eyes widened.

"Thought so. He's not really alone, just doesn't have any family to be with at the moment. His parents are separated and his mother works abroad. They're very wealthy. At a young age, his mother started to feed his thoughts with materialism but that didn't work. Those were just utter distractions to him."

How ironic… No wonder Dan was so attached to me. I was HIM. Perfect!

"But eventually, he tried to regain some of his composure. But still hidden beneath his smile, his heart was still torn to pieces…" She paused and edited. "And soon enough we found each other and he's been my family ever since and I his." She smiled. "And now we have a great addition."

_She placed her hand on mine._

_I loathed myself more. After all this time, I never thought of them as they did to me. Friends maybe, but not family. They were just outlets, nothing more… I never saw through them. Sanada you jerk._

I trembled, "Thank You,"

She reached for my face but I caught her hand, she smiled. "Of course."

Months passed and my perspective still hasn't changed that much… I tried so hard but I could only revise if she had told me to. No surprise there.

_My father didn't hear any more complaints. I decided to stop with the childish tantrums. Dan usually conversed with him my accomplishments but the only reply he got was a faint smile. My father no longer had control. But I accepted it. I didn't bother to tell Dan about his illness, I couldn't let him feel sorry for me more. I'm pathetic enough as it is._

_It wasn't long until I found myself telling my Father about Yuki. Every now and then he'd give me that austere look and eventually leave me hanging again but still pretended that he'd still listen even when he was asleep. I got so caught up in Yuki's world._

_He'd gotten better as Yuki assured. Deep inside of me I knew that it wasn't gonna last but I stayed strong. I wanted to savor each moment I had left but I was too afraid to make adjustments for him. I consulted Yuki about my problems and as usual she was right._

_My routine… everything that kept me busy, had just gotten better. _


	8. Tragedy and Restlessness

**Chapter 7: Tragedy and Restlessness**

**Dedicated especially to Kuya Jarield, LVB and LVH :D **

**Kuya Jarield- here's the update hehe**

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_It was almost Christmas, I decided to go to Yuki's room and check how things are going._

"Yuki?" I opened the door.

"Come in." She welcomed.

_I closed the door and took a seat near her bed; things were casual until I sensed a discomfort in her._

"What's going on?" she said.

_I knew for a fact that she heard a rush outside._

"Probably an emergency…" I replied.

"Oh… yes… I hope that he's alright"

_I tried to divert __**her**__ attention. I was having so much fun conversing with her until…_

"SANADA!"

_Dan slammed the door open. I stood up and so did she._

"What's wrong Dan?" She asked.

_Dan was trembling as he faced my direction, "Your… Father…" His eyes started to water._

_My heart skipped a beat; I froze for a minute before anyone could say another word. I ran out of the room. My thoughts were hazy… I don't remember the setting as I rushed through the hospital halls. I was once again too distracted to care… I was already given a warning and yet… I was blinded. My blood raced through my veins._

"CODE RED!" The nurse signaled, pushing the emergency button.

_I stood helplessly outside of the room; the last thing that I saw was my father being resuscitated._

_Yet another negative image… My eyes just didn't give me a chance…_

_A heart attack…_

* * *

_It's been 3 days since my father's operation. Thankfully, he's stabilized. During those days, I hadn't the time, to visit, room 315 I haven't even seen Dan. During those periods I returned to Robot Sanada._

_I entered my Father's room at around lunchtime, Sunday. It was my first time talking to him again, this time he was unconscious. The Doctor said that he'd wake up anytime soon. I didn't want to miss that chance and so I didn't leave his room. I felt no hunger… no thirst… just yearning… for his smile._

_That night, I decided to talk to him again… No response still, I expected it. Soon enough I was already falling asleep._

I yawned, "No matter what Dad, I thank you for everything." My eyes were so heavy and so I rested it on the bed and started to doze off…

"I love you too son…"

_My dream was very surreal. I dreamt that my Father patted my head and watched me sleep. But most importantly, he smiled._

_I woke up in the same position; to my surprise I had a blanket around me. I was grateful for that person but didn't really pay much attention to whoever placed it around me._

_It was nice… Warm._

_A strange beeping sound and my father's hand on my shoulder awakened me._

"Dad?" I called out in a low voice.

_He didn't respond, I straightened up and threw the blanket on the sofa. I finally knew what that sound meant._

"NURSE!" I was frantic as I pushed the emergency button simultaneously.

_3 nurses came swooping inside the room._

"Sir, I'm sorry but you need to vacate the room." The male nurse walked me out.

"But my father!" I argued.

"He's going to be fine" the doctor came in and slammed the door.

_Just a few seconds later, he was being trolled out of the room. I hurried to follow and luckily I found a spot where I could talk to him. His eyes were slightly opened, he was barely conscious._

"Dad??"

His fingers twitched.

"It's me, Sanada!"

_He was unable to respond. I tried my best but still… _

_I was alone once again… I waited outside the OR, restless…_

* * *

_6 hours later, I absent-mindedly walked my way inside room 315._

_Yuki and Dan anticipated my arrival. They said nothing until I was able to sit and settle down._

_Dan sat by my side and stood still. Yuki broke the silence._

"It's okay, we'll wait."

I sat lifelessly for about 20 minutes. Dan traded places with Yuki. She rubbed my shoulder, trying to soothe me, but at that moment I felt nothing but grief…

A flashback, 3 hours later…

_The surgeon finally came with the news._

"Is he…?"

He looked at me and placed his hand on my shoulder. "He told me that, he's proud of you and nothing could ever make him feel complete except his son." With that said, I became a statue. The doctor gave me a pat on the back and then left.

"I'm sorry…" he finally said.

_Merry Christmas._

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	9. So far Away

**Chapter 8: So far away**

_And so I told them the story._

"The one time…" I finally started to speak. My croaking got louder by the minute.

"Sanada…" Yuki tried to comfort me.

"I had…" I continued. "To use my eyes… The one time that I had focus…"

I paused and took a deep breath and soon enough, tears trickled down my cheeks.

"I SAW NOTHING! I WASN'T THERE!" I yelled placing my face between my hands.

_Dan had joined my water works._

_Yuki lifted my head and brushed her fingers to wipe my tears away but it didn't work._

_I desperately needed to be distracted._

"Enough" she hushed and pulled me in her arms and let my head, rest in her shoulder. She gave me warmth that I couldn't flee from. I returned the gesture and tightened my arms around _her._

"You fought so hard… It's not your fault. And now… I'll fight for you…" She whispered in my ear.

_I didn't understand what she meant at that moment but because of what happened to my father, the miracle that I longed for was fleeting farther and farther away._

* * *

A week has passed since and I told Dan and Yuki that I've else where to study. My father would have wanted that and I needed to get away from all of this… I promised that I'd come to visit them.

_Dan fought for me to stay but I subsided. I felt bad of course for leaving my 'family' but it's just what I had to do._

_The last visit to room 315 was very vague. Dan wasn't around, leaving me to ask Yuki to send him my regards. It was a relief for me that she couldn't cry or I couldn't see her cry in the least._

I gave her a farewell hug, "I'll miss you" I told her. She in turn placed hers on me, "You'll always have a home here."

I kissed her forehead and took my leave, before I shut the door she spoke, "I'll see you around."

I grinned, "Of course."

I shut the door slowly, in my mind she whispered another message.

"**I love you…"**

* * *

_Outside the hospital, Dan stood to block my way, his hands stretched. _"No."

I sighed and started to walk. "Hey kid. See you soon" I stopped in front of him. "Be good and take care of her alright?" I patted his head.

"Promise you'll come back!" his shaky voice demanded and his eyes dripped in tears.

"You have my word."

_What great timing, the fireworks cued in._

Happy New Year, one and all… Goodbye…

_He placed his arms around me and I patted his head once more. I felt guilty. Poor kid, someone's leaving him again. But I was left with no choice… I had to do it… For us._


	10. Routine

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_**AN: Updates and posting for this chapter will come soon :D**_

_**-ladystrife914**_

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_**Teaser:**_

**Chapter 9: Routine**

_College… what a blur…_

_Well, at least it was already my final year right? Final day to be exact. Then again, I'd go through another round for training and stuff… Oh well. I'm used to it anyway. It's been what? Like 3 years since I left Tokyo? Dan didn't reply to any of my mails anymore. Probably busy with his junior year. But I was ok with it, after all, I was also consumed in my studies and I had to find satisfaction through pages of various literatures. My part-time job teaching sports, wasn't half bad either, I enjoyed it actually. _

_Anything to keep me busy._

_I was too preoccupied with my college life that I barely left the campus and when I did, I usually go and visit my folks' resting grounds. But how long has it been when I last did? A year? I haven't noticed._

_I felt sorry for the 2. I was once again absorbed into sheer blindness. I got caught on my hunger for distorted reality._

* * *

_**It was time to go home.**_

_I took the very next flight to Tokyo the following day, I wasn't really sure what I planned would work out but screw the chances right? It's now or never._

_I finally made it, I was exhausted but I didn't care. My jet lag wasn't enough to keep me from my destination._

_I was panting hard but didn't give a damn._

"Room 315, finally"

I was about to knock when…

"She's not there anymore."

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**_AN:I'm gonna need your support minna so you know the catch! :D_**


	11. One last stop

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_**AN: Updates and posting for this chapter will come soon :D**_

_**-ladystrife914**_

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_**Teaser:**_

**Chapter 10: One Last Stop**

"I'm totally abandoned now…"

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**_AN: Yeah well, I cant actually give anything away and so that's the only teaser that I'm giving, warui :D _**

_**AN: Updates and posting for this chapter will come soon :D**_

_**-ladystrife914**_

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	12. HOME PEACE

**Final Chapter: HOME… PEACE… …**

_Dan was my REFLECTION._

_Yuki was never a detour, she was my FATE._

_They were my FAMILY._

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**_AN:I'm gonna need your support minna so you know the catch! :D Please dont kill me :D _**

_**AN: Updates and posting for this chapter will come soon :D**_

_**-ladystrife914**_

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_**Teaser:**_


	13. Falling away

**_AN: Updates and posting for this chapter will come soon :D_**

**_-ladystrife914_**

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'**_Falling Away…'_**

**_Teaser:_**

_10 years later…_

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_**AN**__: And that's the end of it. Yeah I know that the whole "Blind" thing is all corny and cheesy but admit it, it makes perfect sense and it really fit, see? LOL, I'll be waiting for your comments hehe, questions are also entertained. Oh yeah and why'd I use Sanada as the first name? Besides the familiarity for others, I just felt that it was appropriate. This is just a bonus chapter :D_

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